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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I had another kick butt day at the gym, this time doing intervals on the treadmill and AMT machine. Next week I will be having my nutrition appointment where I'll be bringing a log of everything I eat and drink over a three day period. One week from that I'll have my last appointment with my final  weight and measurements. I'm excited to see the changes in my body! Already, I'm feeling more energetic and a little stronger.

One area I am lacking in is a good support team. I need friends (near or far) I can count on over this long journey to help push and motivate me. I need YOU to hold me accountable.

Are you interested in joining my support team? Email me to find out how you can help!


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

“We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure.”
Leo F. Buscaglia

I failed. I gave up. I wimped out.

Tonight, I walked out of a class.

As part of the Face 2 Face program at the gym, it was recommended that I integrate classes into my fitness routine. Last week at my weight training meeting, I received a suggestion for a class from one of the trainers. If I completed the class, my name would be entered to win a "prize". I don't know what the so called prize would've been and maybe that's a good thing.

I've been having a hard time emotionally and have had to push myself extra hard each day. It was hard to find the motivation to try a new class. I was determined to push through it even though I just wanted the comfort of my bed.

I got to the gym a few minutes early and had to stand outside the group fitness room with several other women. This negative self talk was running high. "Those women are younger than me. They're thinner and fitter than me."

I entered with the others and followed their lead, choosing equipment and finding a place to set my stuff. When the instructor started handing out jump ropes I panicked. Then she started saying that all the tall people needed to move to spots that weren't under ceiling fans because of all the jumping jacks and jump roping we were going to be doing.

I picked up my water bottle and walked out the door.

I gave up without even trying.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs, my defeat started weighing heavily on me and pulling towards the exit that would take me back to home. I took a deep breath, turned away from the door and continued on to the weight line. I took my frustrations on the weights, pushing to 20 reps on most every machine. I got on the bike and then the treadmill. Finally, when I started shaking and those thoughts started bubbling over, I went to the steam room.

I sat alone, in the steam room for a good 15 minutes. I was unprepared and didn't have my bathing suit, so I sat there in my gym clothes until they were soaked. After a few minutes, I couldn't tell what was wetness from the humidity in the room and what was sweat...or tears.

I beat myself up for not trying. I asked myself why I was doing this at all. Why bother? I told myself I'd never succeed, that if I couldn't keep up then it wasn't worth fighting for.

And then I stopped. Who says I need to be able to jump rope to lose weight? Or ever? So what if I never jump rope again in my life? I didn't like jumping rope when I was a kid, I don't have to do it now either. Maybe all the jumping around won't hurt later on when I'm fit and healthy, but who says I have to do it?

Would I have been better off having pushed myself through that class and suffered the consequences later? Would I have been proud of myself tomorrow when I would have had to cancel the rest of my week so I could stay in bed with my pain pills? I don't think so.

Yes, I walked out on class that wasn't right for me. But I made the right decision for me and my body. I can lose weight without injuring myself in the process.

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.”
 Nancy Lopez

Chugging Along

Monday, July 16, 2012

Despite eating out a couple times last week, I'm feeling pretty good about my progress. I've been going to the gym regularly and trying out new things. I even tried Aqua Zumba which was a lot of fun! It was easier to keep up with than I thought it would be. I was actually disappointed when the time was up because I wanted to keep going!

I'm finding that the steam room and sauna does wonders for my sore muscles. I enjoy being able to relax after a workout. It feels good to have that "me" time.

My weight is currently still fluctuating, but I'm just focusing on doing what's good for my body rather than fretting about the numbers. In fact, I don't think I'll weigh myself again until after the last Face 2 Face meeting when they do my measurements. I think I will be disappointed if I don't see any results at that appointment, but I'm just going to keep chugging along regardless. Even if I'm not losing, I'm still gaining strength and I know that eventually the numbers will follow as well.

I love how good healthy foods make me feel. Last week I ate something unhealthy, I don't even remember what it was...maybe pizza, and I had the worst time trying to sleep because of reflux. I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff when I eat healthy. I don't miss the junk. I miss drinking something other than water sometimes, but it's not earth shattering.

The thing I like the best about all of this is the change I've seen already in energy. It's so much easier to do simple things like household chores with that extra bit of energy!

I'm excited to watch my body change! These are exciting times my friends!

Four Pounds

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Today was my 2nd Face 2 Face appointment at the gym. Last week I was just weighed and measured, which was NOT fun. Especially when I had to argue with the girl about whether the bathroom scale they were using went high enough for me. Completely embarrassing.

This time we did the weight machines. I already have a card and know how to use the machines, so I didn't really learn anything. That's ok though because I'm really just using this program to create a good routine and be held accountable while I get into my groove.

After, I did just a few minutes of cardio because of time constraints and then I tried out the spa area. I've used the hot tub there before but never the sauna or steam room. After five minutes in area, I felt AMAZING! Now I've kind of wondering, "Why didn't I do that before!?"

I've been home for about 30 minutes and am still feeling the high that comes after a good workout. These are the type of thoughts I need to remind myself when I don't feel like working out. Regardless of needing to lose weight, I need to do this for myself. I need to do more things that feel good to me.

So far, I'm down the 7 lbs, but I keep fluctuating up four pounds and then back down again. I know this is normal. It usually frustrates me and I end up giving up, but this time I'm accepting it for what it is...normal.

Next week is my cardio appointment. I'm not sure what to expect from that since I already know how to use the machines. We'll see!

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