Thursday, September 27, 2012

Following a 12 lb loss last month, it's easy to be disappointed by a much smaller loss. I, however, am not going to get down about it, because any loss it awesome in my eyes!

Previous to this, I had been gaining steadily and consistently. Maybe 2 lbs a month? Which means that my two pounds loss for this month was actually 4! Haha. Seriously though, sometimes not gaining is enough to be cheerful about. I know some people get caught up in the numbers and would be upset if they weren't losing at least 2 lbs a week. I'm just happy to be losing.

I won't lie, I know I could have lost more. I lost two weeks of exercise due to illness and my eating hasn't been as good as it could be. Knowing that, I know where I can improve for this next month. If I keep pushing and working at it, maybe I'll see a larger loss next time, but for now I'm just going to be happy with what I've got. Besides, I'm still seeing progress in so many other areas. I know I'm doing what's right for my health!

By the way, I still haven't been measured. I was sick on my measuring day this week and will once again have to reschedule.

P.S That -2 makes me at -14 lbs thus far! I think that's pretty awesome for two months work, right??

Feeling Kind of Frumpy

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Confession time.

I haven't been to the gym in days. And I've been eating like crap. Not so much over eating, but just bad choices based on laziness and convenience. I'm getting better at saying no or making compromises, but I'm still human and I still make bad judgement calls. When I'm motivated, I do great. It's just having the discipline to stick with it

Committing doesn't mean, "When I feel like it." It's all the time. If I truly want to lead a healthy life and lose this weight, I have to be disciplined enough to just stick with it even when I don't feel like it.

There are going to be times, like this week, when I'm sick and my daughter's sick that I can't get to the gym. I have to learn to stop scrapping those days. Just because I can't work out doesn't mean all of my goals need  to go out the window while I'm down. There is no reason why I can't still get my water intake and still eat healthfully. Just because I want to stop and pick up a large #1 combo from Wendy's doesn't mean I should.

One thing I've noticed lately, is that body is beginning to talk back at me for my bad choices. When I eat something greasy or drink soda, it weighs heavily on my stomach and makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel sick from it. Yet, because my mind hasn't caught up, I continue to ignore these messages my body is sending and keep making these bad choices. When a Coke doesn't taste good or makes me sick, I try a Sprite instead. When pizza makes me feel awful, I try Chinese.

I guess the message here is that I need to start listening to my body and start ignoring the negative messages my mind keeps sending.

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Fall Favorites

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I know it's not Monday, but yesterday was a crazy day here and I didn't get anything done. I did however, get my flu shot on Sunday and am feeling pretty cruddy. Oh and that cold I had not even two weeks ago? My daughter and I both have it now. Grr. Anyway, here is Friend Makin' Monday, on Tuesday!

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Fall Favorites

1. What is your favorite thing about this time of year?  I just love the smell of Fall and the feel of change in the air. It's invigorating! 
2. What do you hope to do again before Summer is officially over?  Hmm...maybe hit the splash park with my daughter one or two more times.
3. When did you last go on a hay ride?  Gosh, ten years? More? I don't even remember!
4. What is your favorite pumpkin dish? Cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Yum, yum!
5. Do you decorate your home for fall?  I would like to, but I'm cheap and lazy! One of these years I'm going to go on a clearance shopping spree for each season/holiday so I have things to decorate with. My house is pretty plain and un-decorated. I guess I'm just waiting until we buy a house before I put my touches on something.
6. Do you have any hobbies that are seasonally specific? If so, what are they?  I do like to crochet more in the cooler months. I also like to spend more time outside and especially love to go hiking with my husband when the weather is nice.
7. Apple cider or hot chocolate?  White Hot Chocolate.
8. Are you a fan of football?  If so, who is your team?  Go Gators!
9. Share a fond Fall memory. Picking out pumpkins with my daughter last year. I'm really looking forward to doing it again this year with her.
10. It’s not Fall until…I make a big pot of chili!

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions.  Don’t forget to visit All the Weigh and link up in the comments!  Happy Monday!

Bragging Time: My husband

Friday, September 21, 2012

I just need to take a few moments to brag about my husband, Robert. We've been married for almost 10 years now. He may not be perfect, but he is the perfect husband for me. We've been through absolute hell on many occasions and have suffered through some of the worst things imaginable. But we've come out stronger than ever. We were married young and while I regret when we got married, I've never once regretted who I married. He is kind, funny, charming, incredibly smart, supportive, stable, strong, and just mine. You know how they say that one person in every couple loves the other more? We're still arguing about that one. I'm pretty sure it's me though...

April 2011
You can just see it, can't you?

April 2011

April 2011

I am so super proud of him. He's been working so on his own health and fitness journey. He has never been thin, but he is fighting to be healthy for us, for himself and for his family. As of today, over just a short amount of time, he is down almost 30 pounds! How awesome is that? I am so lucky to have a husband that is on board with my new healthy lifestyle. Not only is he supporting me, he's right there beside me doing it too. I am truly blessed to have him. 

I love you, Robert

Your Journey to a Healthy, Fit Life

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I want to talk to you today about starting a change or in my case beginning a journey to a healthy, fit life. How many times have you said the words "Maybe", "Tomorrow", "Next ___", "But", "Should" and "Want"? It's time to replace those with NOW, I can and I will. 

Starting a program or new lifestyle is frightening. Your biggest fear is likely failure. You've tried before and you gave up. Life and stress wore you down to the point of giving in. I know, because I've been there. You don't get to my size without feeling that failure and embarrassment. You don't want to go to the gym or wear a bathing suit because people will see you. You fear running into people you haven't seen in a long time because of what they may think. Stop it! Your worst critic is YOU. What's holding you back? Who is holding back? I would bet my entire savings account (don't get excited, there's not much in there!) that the answer is YOU

So let's get started.

Exercise is embarrassing at first. I won't lie. I sweat, I stink, my face turns BRIGHT red within seconds, I'm clumsy, and my balance sucks. Here's the thing though, all of that is true for everyone in the gym. I'm not the biggest, clumsiest, smelliest person in the gym but I couldn't tell you who is. You know why? Because I don't notice them. I'm too busy paying attention to myself and what I am doing. I will also bet my checking account (again don't get excited, this offer is only good today and I don't get paid until tomorrow) that the skinny, fit, beautiful chick over there isn't paying attention to me either. You know who she's paying attention to? Herself...and maybe that hot guy over there. Heeeeyyyyyy, check him out...Sorry, back to this. Um, where were we? Oh yeah, no one cares about what you look like. Everyone has done something dumb or embarrassing. People fart in yoga class, fall on their face, fall during step class, turn the wrong way in Zumba or can't seem to raise opposite arms and legs. It happens and no one cares but you, so stop caring. Got it?

Now take a second to read this, Hey Fat Girl!, and then come back to me. I'll wait.

Moving on. Let's talk about where you're going to start. Some people take up running on day 1 and others just start getting out of bed each day. Both of these are commendable and require the same amount of effort. I can't run. Heck, I can't jog. When I get on the treadmill, I'm going fast if I hit 3.0. Some days, yesterday for example, I don't go over 2.0. But it's all exercise. Actually, you don't even need to go to the gym. Work out in your own living room. Do laps around the house. Practice sitting and standing. Work with what you've got and do what feels good. Any movement you add into your life is a start. You'll get there. Just go at your own pace and eventually you will be able to run, if you want to. Me? I have no desire to run. It just doesn't appeal to me. I want to be able to run, but I don't see myself becoming a runner. Maybe that'll change, maybe not. But I don't ever have to run if I don't want to. There are so many ways you can exercise, don't judge your fitness based on one type.  

I try to exercise every single day. That doesn't mean that I'm biking 60 miles or running 20. I'm doing Aqua classes and Tai Chi with 80 year olds. Some of them are much more able than I am. But that's ok. When I am no longer getting something out of it I'll move on, but for right now those workouts are doing good for me. When I did Tai Chi last week, I was pouring sweat and I felt the workout. Things that shouldn't have caused my muscles to work hard had them burning. I'm not in shape by any means. The point is that you have to start somewhere. Run if you can but army crawl if you need to. It's ok. You're still lapping the people on the couch.

This is very, very true. Do something every day, even if you don't want to. It doesn't have to be big, just stretching or a short walk is worth it. There is no more starting over, no more fresh starts. You only have one life to live and there are no do overs. If you have a bad day, shrug it off and get back to work. Forget about failure, there's no such thing. Yes, there will be hurdles, but honey you can just jump over them. If you do trip over it, dust yourself off and keep going. 

There will be pain. You cannot avoid it, but you do need to learn the difference between good pain and bad pain. They will both hurt. Good pain comes from things you're not used to doing and your muscles getting stronger. If I haven't been in a while or if I increase my activity, my used muscles will be sore and achy for a couple days. While it hurts, I baby it but keep going. I stretch more and take lots of warm showers. Bad pain comes from over doing it or doing something at an intensity that you're not ready for. Exercise should never hurt while you do it. It's ok to feel a burning sensation, that's how you know it's working but if it's real pain, stop. Find your limits and respect them. Push yourself but don't injure yourself. No one can tell you what you are and are not capable of including yourself until you try. Don't force you to do something that you're not physically ready for. It's better to keep working out at a lower level than to injure yourself and be out completely.

We good here? Great! So get going. Don't wait for tomorrow, start right now. Even if all you do is stand up and walk around your house, it's a start. Get to it!

P.S My trainer was unable to measure me yesterday because of a time misunderstanding, so I will not be measured until next Wednesday.

I am Not a Lunch Lady...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

One of my biggest motivators is my daughter. Right now she's just two, but I want to be here to watch her children get married. I want to run around with her, jump rope, ride bikes, and any other active activity she gets interested in. I want to keep up.

I never want her to be ashamed of me because of my weight. I don't want kids at her school to tease her because of my size. 

This has already been one of my motivators for a long time. 

But then I watched Glee's season premier.

Screen Cap
Glee has this kind of backhanded way of offering acceptance. Let's have the most stereotypical gay people ever! Let's add in a girl with asperger's and make her say completely inappropriate things just because she's an aspy! Let's add a kid in a wheelchair but let's not actually choose a disabled actor, it'll be more fun if we can make him miraculously dance sometimes! It's like they think that if they include these people in the show, it means they're accepting, even if in reality they're actually making fun of them.

This past episode, included a new girl who's mother is the school lunch lady. And of course, because that's the way Glee rolls; she's overweight, plain, and poor. Mom parks a few blocks away so no one will see her teenage daughter getting in the car with her. They've changed schools because kids at the previous school alienated the daughter because of mom's weight. Our usually "accepting" New Directions members are riding a popularity high from winning Nationals (last season) take part in making extremely cruel jokes. 

It was a rough episode for me. It was too easy to place myself in the role of the lunch lady mom. One of my biggest fears. While I don't always agreed with Glee's method of introducing tolerance, I am glad I saw this tear jerking episode. I love how the daughter was so excepting and loving towards her mother. Maybe I should print out the above screen shot as a personal reminder of my goals.

Friend Making Mondays: Blog Stuff

Monday, September 17, 2012

Great questions today from Kenlie  about blogging! Read on and please participate! 
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

 Blog Stuff

1.  Have you ever met anyone through your blog that led to an in-person friendship/relationship? No, but I would love to!
2.  Most bloggers have a specific niche.  What would you discuss if it didn’t seem inappropriate on your blog? I'd love to just talk about every day stuff like what I did today or what's on my mind. I just feel boring when I do!
3. If you could meet three bloggers, who would they be? Oh gosh, I so wish I could go to Fitbloggin' 12 and meet some of my favorites. I'd love to meet Gretchen, Emily, and Emily. They're all amazing women and I feel so motivated reading their blogs. Their bad days and confessions make me nod in agreement. I laugh along with them and cheer them on. They rock!
4. If you had to choose between Facebook or Twitter which one would you choose?  I hate being limited to how much I can type or what I can post. I feel it's easier to respond and have a conversation on Facebook. 
5. Do you vlog (video blog?) I've been told that I should, but I hate the sound of my own voice and the way I look. Maybe one day, just not yet. I need to work out these self esteem issues first.
6. How many blogs do you read on an average day? It just depends on how much the people I like to read post. I devote about 30 mins or so each day to reading other blogs, more if everyone is active. I try to comment often because to me knowing someone out there is reading is so important and motivating. The blogosphere is lonely when it's quiet!
7.  What is the coolest thing that you’ve seen online recently? I just love this picture of a library with trees growing through it that I found via Stumble Upon. I want it blown up and framed so badly. 
8. If you gave your blog a new name what would it be? Hmm...I'm Losing It? So predictable though but since I feel like I'm losing my mind some days as well, it's fitting!
9. Have you ever attended a blog conference like Fitbloggin?  If not, would you? No, but I would love to! Maybe next year.
10. In the past I have asked why you blog.  Now I want to know why you read blogs?  What do you take from it?  I find them inspiring. It feels good to know that I'm not alone in this journey and I'm not the only one that feels the way I do. Plus, if they can do it, so can I! 

Sick, Sick, SICK!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

I think my body has been trying to tell me something. I'm overdoing it. Not necessarily working out, but just overdoing it in general. I'm having a difficult time physically trying to do everything.  Trying to care for a household, a toddler, keep up relationships, go to the gym constantly, cook dinner, and so's a lot. I'm trying to do it all.

Where can I slow down? Really, I don't think I can drop anything. Sure, the house doesn't need to spotless and dinner doesn't have to be anything that takes a lot of work. But just keeping up with the basics is still a lot of work. I can't stop going out because I need me time, I need time to de-stress. Obviously, I can't stop caring for my daughter and part of that includes taking her places.

Honestly, I'm just hoping that my body will adjust. I'm saying no when I need to but going places when I feel I can. Which since I woke up Thursday morning, meant saying no. I was tired and received some stressful news. Then Friday, I woke up sick. Today I've just felt like death warmed over. I know it's OK to work out with a head cold, but when you barely feel like standing's just not happening.

I've just spent today reading, playing video games (GW2 YEAH!) and sleeping. Right now my husband is out buying me some cold medicine and some ice cream. Real ice cream. By golly, I am not going to feel guilty. I'm just going to enjoy my couch and ice cream. When I feel better, I'll be back at the gym kicking butt again. I just need a couple days to recoup.

Non Scale Victories

Sunday, September 9, 2012

When you're focused on weight loss, as I am now, it's easy to get caught up in the numbers that appear each day on the scale. It can be discouraging and in the past has made me give up. That is why I decided to only weigh and measure myself once a month, rather than EVERY SINGLE DAY. Ok, three times a day. For real. After a while, the scale becomes this unhealthy focus and you give up without ever taking the time to notice all the positive changes in your body.

It's been about three weeks now since I started focusing on my exercise (striking what I was doing before my kidney episode) and ignoring the scale has forced me to pay attention to the other changes in my body. And let me tell you, I am so amazing, impressed, and PROUD of what my body is doing!

Robert noticed that my favorite jeans are becoming loose around my thighs, waist, and hips.

My hips bones stick out more and my abdomen beneath my belly button is flatter. 

I still have pain that requires medication after most hard work outs. But the pain during the work outs has gotten a lot better. I'm no longer watching the clock in pain.

My endurance has improved greatly. When I returned to the gym after my kidney infection, I was struggling just to finish 15 minutes on the bike. By the time I was done I was covered in sweat, out of breath, and my heart rate was all over the place. Today, I completed 60 minutes and 11 miles on the bike doing intervals. I have never been on a stationary bike that long in my life! Aside from a numb butt and feet, it wasn't too bad. After about five minutes my legs had loosened back up and I wasn't completely worn out from it.

My strength training weights have increased significantly. Some of them have gone up as much as 70 lbs. I love being behind someone and seeing that I'm able to lift heavier weights than most. 

My energy level has increased greatly. I might be tired a lot still, but I'm able to get things done. Because of this, I've been able to enjoy fun days out with my family and still work out later in the day. 

You better believe these changes are very motivating! I'm excited for my next round of measurements and hope you are too!

Just Do It!

Thursday, September 6, 2012


I'm struggling with motivation today.

My daughter, Meghan, had a stomach bug on Monday night through Tuesday. I was super bummed to miss out on my aqua classes. I spent most of that day trying to squeeze in naps, prepare dinner, and care for my sick little one. Wednesday came and I didn't want to take her anywhere just in case, so I spent the day super cleaning the house. Which is great exercise!

Here we are on Thursday and I'm feeling so sluggish. I know it's because I haven't been to the gym. I ate a can of Chef Boyardee (hurricane food) for lunch out of convenience. Bad idea! I felt gross as soon as I finished it. I'm counting down for the weekend, payday, and grocery shopping to get some good, healthy food back in the house. I sat down to write out a grocery list and make a meal plan, but felt so overwhelmed that I couldn't even get started.

I don't want to go to the gym tonight. Really it's just that I don't want to go through the pains of getting everyone ready to go. But I will go and it will be worth it. I know this. I think after posting this, I'll hop on the bike and boost my energy a little that way.

In other news, I added a Progress and Pictures page. You can find it on the top right under "Pages". I'll be updating that page each month as I weigh in and such.

I have to admit, it was really hard to post pictures up there. Yuck. I really hate the way I look right now and am totally embarrassed by my body. That's why I'm doing this, right?

All I want...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012


I've written a lot about what I'm doing to accomplish my goals here, but not very much about what my goals are and why I want to lose weight.

  • Lose 100+ lbs (I'll reveal the actual number as I feel more confident and comfortable here)
  • Reach my goal weight of 150 lbs
  • Shop Regular Size Clothing
  • Gain Strength
  • Gain Energy
  • Increase My Life Span
  • Be Healthier
  • I don't want to feel tired all the time
  • I want to be able to play with my daughter the way she wants me to
  • I don't want other kids to tease her from having a fat mom
  • I want to live long enough to watch my grandchildren get married and become a great-grandmother. 
  • I don't want to hurt the way I do now.
  • I don't want to become sicker
  • I don't want to leave a fitting room in tears because nothing fits
  • I want to feel proud of my body
  • I don't want my pain and fatigue to rule my life anymore
  • I want to walk away from the doctor's office without having received a long lecture
  • I want to feel like I fit in 
  • I want to accomplish something amazing
I will accomplish these goals and more. I'm beyond excited to watch my body change. Already I'm beginning to notice a difference, especially in my lower abdomen. It's also been a little easier to get things done around the house. My energy level has been a bit higher, thank goodness!

Happy September!

Sunday, September 2, 2012


Happy September! It's a new month full of endless opportunities to make improvements to your mind, body and life. Now is a great time to form new habits and make them stick. There are only 114 days left until Christmas. Who wouldn't love to show up for the holidays feeling great about themselves and looking fantastic? I know I would! 

Choose a few simple habits to work on and stick to them. I'll be choosing three to work on this month. Because three is just a special number when it comes to goals, right?

  1. Drink one gallon of water each day. 
  2. Do some form of exercise 6 days a week.
  3. Cut back on screen time.
Stay tuned, next weight/measurement is scheduled to September 19th! 

What goals will you be working on this month?

Follow Me!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Follow me on my brand new Pinterest and Twitter accounts...because I'm AWESOME!

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